“This place reminds me of a garage in the 70s… except instead of cent signs on the price tags they are dollars.”
When I call my boss, I SWEAR the ringing I hear while I wait for him to pick up is more menacing than when I call other people. There’s a little more vibrato to it. Also, possibly an echo. I instantly feel like I’m walking down a set of stairs into a dark cavernous dungeon to meet my doom. Worse yet the stairs do not have handrails in this vision.
I went to a pool party and now my abs are sore from sucking in all day.
If you ever find a pair of shorts or pants that make your ass look great, get everyone to go bowling with you. That way they can all see it in 20 second intervals.
About a month ago, construction workers came in and “fixed” a wall across from my cubicle. In the process they removed a poster identical to the included picture, and placed this in my cubicle. After repairing the wall, they forgot to hang it back up and I’m not going to be the one to re-“break” the wall by hanging the poster up myself. Also I hate this atrocious motivational poster. I had the picture below blown-up and inserted myself over the eagle. I then left it in my boss’s office in a place only he would see (corner between a wall and a couch that is only visible from his desk).
Caught him off guard and now he’s all grins today. Suck it, excellence eagle.
I know that this has probably existed in some form or another for years, and this isn’t a new trend, but it seems new to me and I must complain about it. Suddenly, members of my generation think the Mumford & Sons look is a timeless look that will capture their celebration of love in a beautiful way for years to come. I think this looks is only slightly better than having a Renaissance Fair wedding.
No one dresses like this. Literally no one except Mumford & Sons. Even if you were from the country… your father and grandfather still likely did not dress like this. So stop it. Don’t think you are timeless. You will be cringe-worthy in 10 years and your children will wonder why you dressed like you lived in Oklahoma during the Great Depression on your wedding day. It’s a trend and it’s a costume.
Maybe I’m just a crabby, old spinster but I had to say it.
Carrying my 10 foot longboard through my apartment surprisingly sounds like a game on a pinball machine.